You have observed your partner and noticed some significant changes in behavior. They are more secretive about using their phone; they are working late or on the weekend; or they are not connecting with you like they used to. Do you have a cheater in the house? How can you find out? There are some old school methods and then there are some ways technology can help you with how to catch a cheater.
- Show up at a known location unexpectedly and assess the situation. Drop into the baseball practice to see if they are present. If they are not there, ask the team members about the absence. Listen carefully. Sometimes friends are willing to share their suspicions. Sometimes they try to cover up. If the suspected cheater is present, watch from a distance to see if anything is going on.
- Check the garbage and recycling in your home and at their work for incriminating evidence.
- Look through the phone bills, bank account statements, or charge card statements for charges that are suspicious. Are there restaurant charges that are unfamiliar?
- Check the odometer of the car to see if there is extra mileage that would signal extra trips to an unknown location.
- Set your spouse up by planning a trip (business or family) and then stay close to home to observe what is happening. Use a camera to log the evidence.
- Everyone’s phone is full of personal information that is of a very telling nature. If you know the password, great. If you don’t see if you can learn it by watching your partner unlock the phone. Or try some educated guesses. And then go through the phone looking for incriminating evidence. Review recent calls for repeated numbers, review the photos for people you don’t know, look through messages and the app histories.
- If you can get into a computer your partner uses look for the same things you have done on the phone – any call history from programs like Skype and also look at History on the web browser. Check out the photos there as well.
- On social media sites that are used by the cheater look for unusual items, such as a review of a restaurant you don’t recognize and comments that don’t make any sense to you, such as “Great Game with the Red Sox, Friday night.” when you thought working late was was the excuse.
- If you do not know the passwords, take advantage of the opportunity to loan your phone to your partner in hope that they forget to log out. Then you can use that for access to complete searches.
- Installing tracking software on phones is another possibility, once you can get into the phone. Programs such as Contact Spy can track activity. Also you can track your spouse’s cell phone by using the GPS function.
- If you can get access to the computer, you can install software that will pull up incriminating evidence such as key loggers that track keystrokes,
- Make a fake idea for a dating website to see if you can find your partner there. If you are insistent, set up a date.
- Use an audio recording device in a location where the cheater usually talks on the phone set to voice activate for those conversation that you are not allowed to hear. Many of these devices look like something else to make them appear to be innocuous. Put it in the home office, workshop, kitchen or bedroom.
- Put a hidden GPS on the car to track the journeys taken.